Ok, So i have 5 children, not enough to warrant my own television programme, however just enough to attract attention any time i have to go somewhere with all 5 in tow.
For the most part, people are great when they see me coming with my brood trotting along behind me, although it doesn’t help when they’re fighting like cats and dogs, but the one question i will guarantee to be asked at least once is “Are the all yours”? Normally i will just smile, nod and say “Yep, all mine” and what normally follows that is ” You’ve got your hands full”!
I don’t normally mind remarks like this and i get the best reaction out of the senior citizen ladies, they love to see the larger family coming back apparantly, but very occassionally i will get an extremely rude remark, question or snide comment from a complete stranger and still to this day it flabbergasts me to think “Did you really just say that to a complete stranger”. You don’t know me or my family so please jog on sunshine.
Here is a list of comments and remarks from the innocent right down to the downright rude and nasty, that i have heard from complete strangers. Underneath is a list of answers i have put together.
- Are they all yours?
Yes, and i have even more at home.
Nope, some of them are mine, the rest just like to follow me around!
2. You have your hands full there
I actually want to get a t-shirt with “yes i know my hands are full” right across the front, i have had this said to me so many times.
Rather full than empty. This is my favourite answer and is usually enough to stop them in their tracks.
Why Yes i do, Would you like to help?
3. Do you know what’s causing it OR Do you know how it keeps happening?
I love this question. Usually asked by middle aged men, never has another woman asked me this question.
My all time favorite answer is Yes, and we like it or Yes, and i’m very good at it don’t you think?
Yes i do, will i explain it to you? Or No we dont, could you please explain it to us.
4. Do you manage to get any time to yourselves?
Well, Obviously we do.
5. Don’t you own a television? This one gets right on my last nerve.
No, can’t you tell.
Yes, and running water aswell.
6. Are you done now or will you try for another girl?
First off Mind your own business, and second i have a girl, yes i also have 4 boys but I HAVE A GIRL! If i had 3 boys and 2 girls you would still be asking me will i be trying for another girl to even out the numbers.
I usually just say Never say Never.
I will stop when i get an ugly one, so far we have been blessed.
7. I don’t know how you do it.
I drink alcohol. Copious amounts of it.
8. Have you ever heard of the pill.
This was asked by a man that a friend had just introduced me to. How dare you for a start, you rude arrogant asshole.
Yes i’ve heard of it i hope you are using it, heaven forbid there would be more like you walking around.
Yes, that stuff is for people who DON’T want children.
Yes, isn’t that for people who have ugly children.
9. Rather you than me.
Yes, i’d rather me than you too.
Yes, my kids would rather me over you any day of the week.
So there you have it, the top questions and comments that i have heard from being about with all my children, and my answers. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as i did writing it.